The Night Away: An absolutely unputdownable psychological thriller Read online

  ‘Yes, very. It’s not like him. I mean, we’re besties, usually we’re in touch most days. I thought maybe he’d backed off because he didn’t want to make trouble for me with George. I was hurt, but so much has happened, I haven’t … you know … dwelt on it too much. I’ve been focused on Mabel.’ She draws in her bottom lip and bites down. ‘But it is strange to ignore me, as if he doesn’t care. After all we’ve done for each other …’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  She feels herself flushing bright pink. ‘He, um … oh God, it’s all so embarrassing … He … um … offered to help me conceive by donating sperm. It was a DIY job – didn’t work. We only tried it once; it was a mistake.’

  ‘I see.’ Benedict looks thoughtful. ‘Did Terri know about that?’

  ‘Jesus, no! It was a massive secret between the two of us.’

  ‘Hmm … So, he tried to help you have a baby. And what did you do for him?’

  She puffs out. ‘Oh, loads of things over the years. Seth’s quite fragile. He’s one of four sons; the other three are rugger buggers, full of testosterone. His father’s openly homophobic and his mother’s a drip. She knew about Seth but wouldn’t stand up for him. It’s been hell for him trying to come to terms with his sexual identity. For years he pretended he was straight, then bisexual. I encouraged him to finally come out as gay.’

  Benedict writes it down. ‘And was he still with Terri when all this happened?’

  She nods. ‘Sort of … It was a very on-off relationship, quite stormy. Seth found her high maintenance – to be honest, I don’t know what he saw in her. When he finished the relationship, she took it pretty badly, although I don’t understand why it was such a shock.’

  ‘Did she blame you?’

  ‘Why would she?’ she huffs. ‘It was Seth’s decision.’

  ‘And you’re sure she didn’t know about the sperm donation.’

  ‘Absolutely. There’s no way he would have told her.’ Seth’s words float out and write themselves on the wall above the detective’s head.

  Your secret will be safe with me, darling. I’ll take it to my grave.

  Benedict thinks for a few seconds. ‘Is there any way she could have found out?’

  ‘No. Not that I can think of.’

  ‘Okay, but let’s say for now that she did find out. Might she believe Seth is Mabel’s father?’

  Amber’s stomach turns over. ‘Um … I don’t know … I can’t see how. He wouldn’t have said anything. I remember him telling me Terri wanted them to have a baby and he’d said no and she’d got all upset …’ She catches her breath. ‘Oh God. What if …?’

  Benedict rises, a fresh look of determination on his face. ‘I think we might have a motive. Excuse me, I’ll be back in a minute.’ He leaves the room.

  Amber puts her head in her hands as the uncomfortable thoughts turn fearful. She didn’t take to Terri from the beginning. Their first meeting is etched on her memory, even though they only exchanged a few words. Seth brought his new girlfriend along to their university reunion, probably in an attempt to prove his heterosexual credentials. Not that anyone was convinced. It was the wrong kind of occasion to choose, anyway. Unsurprisingly, Amber and her mates wanted to catch up and reminisce about old times. Terri felt ignored and hit the bottle big-time. She spent the evening scowling at everyone and making loud off-colour remarks. Poor Seth had to pour her into the taxi home.

  Amber never understood why Terri was keen on someone who was so obviously not interested in women sexually. Perhaps she hadn’t noticed. The relationship with Seth was all about her, not the two of them. She wanted things from him that he couldn’t or didn’t want to give her, but instead of accepting defeat and retreating gracefully, it made her even more angry and demanding. Poor Seth felt guilty about rejecting her, so he battled on. When he finally came out and ended the relationship, Amber felt pleased for him and relieved that Terri was no longer around. In truth, she didn’t give the woman’s feelings a second’s thought.

  Until now …

  She remembers one of her secret encounters with Seth in a cocktail bar, shortly after the sperm donation fiasco. Their conversations usually lurched back and forth between their individual problems, but that night it was Seth’s turn to have the most airtime.

  ‘She keeps going on about making things more permanent,’ he said. ‘Her mother wants to know when I’m going to propose – apparently she’s already seen a hat she likes. It’s ridiculous. And she’s been hinting about having a baby, even though I made it clear from the start that I don’t want kids.’

  Amber rolled her eyes. ‘You need to be careful. I mean, what if she gets pregnant?’ She put an imaginary shotgun to his head.

  ‘Don’t worry, there’s no chance of that,’ he replied. ‘She’s on the pill.’

  ‘Are you sure about that? Do you see her take it every day? I wouldn’t put it past her to—’

  ‘Darling, stop being so suspicious,’ he said, patting her hand. ‘She’s all right, you know, she has a good heart. But she lacks confidence and that makes her needy. It’s my fault, I’m messing her around, giving her mixed signals.’ His eyes filled with tears. ‘I’m the problem, not her.’

  ‘You’re not a problem. You’re gay – simple as. You know it, I know it, your friends know it – none of us care either way, we still love you to bits. Apart from George,’ she giggled, ‘but he doesn’t count. Even your family knows you’re gay, although they pretend otherwise. Get it all out in the open. Honestly, Seth, you’ll be so much happier if you stop apologising for yourself. You’ve a right to be who you are and have some bloody fun!’ She raised her glass in triumph and knocked back her mojito. It made her cough and they both burst into hysterical laughter.

  ‘Oh darling,’ he said, thumping her on the back as she spluttered. ‘You are so right. What would I do without you?’

  A few weeks later, he ended the relationship with Terri and came out to the world in an emotional Facebook post, receiving hundreds of likes and uplifting comments. But his timing wasn’t great. Amber was in the middle of her own trauma by then – having just discovered she was pregnant by Lewis – and wasn’t able to give him the level of support she’d promised. He was a little off with her about it at first, but soon threw himself into his new gay life. Their ‘secret affair’ carried on as before and she assumed she’d been forgiven. He was incredibly sweet to her over the whole Lewis debacle and had been a real rock these past months. She couldn’t have got through it without him.

  The door opens and DI Benedict comes back into the room. ‘Okay, here’s what we’ve got so far,’ he says, sitting down. ‘Seth Williams isn’t at home or at his office. According to his boss, he booked a week’s holiday at the last minute and nobody’s heard from him since. We’ve asked for a location trace on his phone and his recent call history – I’m still waiting on that.’

  ‘Maybe he’s gone abroad,’ Amber says, trying to fill her voice with hope. There has to be an innocent explanation, there has to be. ‘He likes European cities. Berlin, Paris … Recently he’s been going there on his own, getting into the gay scene, letting his hair down, you know …’ She drifts off, embarrassed by how it sounds.

  ‘Hmm,’ says Benedict sceptically. ‘I want to know why he hasn’t been in touch with you or answered your messages. I’m thinking he doesn’t want you – or anyone else – to know where he is. We’re looking at his credit card transactions, that should help locate him, but it all takes time, which we haven’t got.’ He runs his fingers anxiously through his hair. ‘I don’t like it – don’t like it one bit.’

  ‘And Terri?’

  ‘Nothing yet. A neighbour remembers her being at the flat – apparently there were some noisy rows. She moved out months ago and he hasn’t seen her since. Doesn’t know her full name or anything. We’re asking Seth’s work colleagues, but so far nobody’s come forward with any concrete information. It’s annoying … Do you remember how they met?’

  ‘
Online, I think.’

  ‘Of course,’ he sighs. ‘Gone are the days when you dated the girl who lived on the next street.’

  ‘You think Seth is involved in this?’ she asks, although her instinct is telling her it’s impossible. He loves her and would never do anything so evil. He split up with Terri last year and has had nothing to do with her since, and besides, he can’t really believe he’s Mabel’s biological father. There’s no logic to them abducting her.

  ‘I think it’s a possibility, yes,’ replies DI Benedict flatly. ‘We certainly can’t rule it out. But don’t worry, we’ll find them – they can’t stay off the grid forever. They’ve probably ditched their smartphones for pay-as-you-go, but at some point they’ll run out of cash or food or petrol or nappies and use their bank cards.’

  ‘Or somebody might spot them,’ adds Amber. ‘I’ve got loads of photos of Seth. Put one out on the media along with the e-fit of Terri. Ask the public if anyone can identify her.’

  Benedict twists his mouth. ‘There is that option, yes, but I’d rather have them lulled into a false sense of security. If they think they’re safe, they’ll relax and make a mistake. But if they realise that we’re closing in on them, there’s a danger they’ll panic and—’ He stops himself, not wanting to elaborate. ‘Rescuing Mabel alive and well has to be our number one priority. Right.’ He stands up again. ‘I’ve a lot to do, it’s all action stations out there. Thanks, Amber, you’ve been an enormous help.’ His gaze zooms in on her face – the liquid eyes, the quivering lip. ‘Are you okay?’

  ‘Yes … I mean, no … not really. It’s a shock.’

  ‘Of course. But you’re doing really well, considering.’ He gives her a tentative smile. ‘We’re a lot closer than we were even two hours ago, remember that. This is a massive breakthrough. We’re going to find them. Have faith, eh?’

  He gathers up his papers, picks up his jacket and leaves the room. The door swings shut and Amber gulps in air, as if she’s been holding her breath under water. Seth and Terri working together – could it be possible? Did they take Mabel because they wanted a baby, or was it to get revenge on her? She can’t imagine Seth doing either, but the last week has proved that anything is possible: Mabel abducted, Lewis in hospital at death’s door, George in prison on remand for attempted murder. Once he finds out that Seth is behind this – if he is – he’ll be even more enraged. He never liked Seth, never trusted him. She used to think it was jealousy and narrow-mindedness, but now she wonders … Was there something she missed?

  Amber folds in on herself. How did she get everything so horribly wrong?

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Day Nine with Mabel

  I raise my glass of champagne and we clink. ‘Here’s to the three of us,’ I say.

  Seth’s eyes twinkle at me as he echoes the toast. He parades around the room, glass in hand, sipping as he surveys the scene. ‘Yes, it’s just as I remembered it,’ he says. ‘Very chintzy.’

  ‘Good old Dolly, she loved her braids and fringes,’ I agree, fingering the tassel on one of her tapestry cushions. ‘I’ll rip it all out eventually, open it up, bring some light into the space.’

  ‘I thought you were going to sell and put the money towards a place in London?’

  ‘Probate hasn’t gone through yet, there’s some delay over Dolly’s tax liabilities. But I’ve got the keys, so …’

  ‘Possession is nine tenths of the law,’ he finishes, crouching down at Mabel’s side. ‘Isn’t that right, lovely?’

  She’s sitting in her bouncy chair, behaving herself for once. Ever since he arrived, she’s smiled and cooed, her eyes following him around the room, enchanted. Strange how human beings can detect genetic connections. It’s as if she knows him on an instinctive level. I can’t explain their mutual attraction, but I don’t care. It’s a relief that she’s not whining and pulling grumpy faces at me. Daddy can take over for a bit and give me a much-needed rest.

  He sits on the floor and rests his glass on the patterned carpet. ‘How are you doing, little one?’ He takes her chubby hand, opening her fist and tracing a circle on her palm with his forefinger. ‘Walkie round the garden, like a teddy bear …’ Mabel stares solemnly as the finger crawls up her arm. ‘One step, two step – tickle you under there!’ She bursts into delighted giggles.

  Huh, I think, trying not to feel jealous. She never laughs for me.

  I take a seat on the sofa and watch them entertaining each other as the bubbles of champagne fizz through my body. Seth is looking good: trimmer, fitter, sexier. The new beard – close-cut, not too shaggy – adds warmth to his sharp, chiselled features. ‘I can’t believe you’re actually here,’ I say yet again.

  He looks up. ‘Well I am! Believe it.’

  ‘I know it sounds melodramatic, but it’s like a dream come true.’

  He blows me a kiss. ‘Sorry it took so long. I really wanted to get in touch, to check that my hunch was right and you were here waiting for me. It was so hard being patient. But I had to make sure neither of us was a suspect. The last thing I wanted was to lead the police here by mistake.’

  ‘No, I understand … I wanted to get in touch with you too, but I didn’t dare take the risk. It was agonising, not knowing whether you’d come. I hoped that one day in the future you’d turn up and we’d all be together, but it was a fantasy really. I even told the neighbours that my husband was due home next weekend – how weird is that? I must be a witch!’ I laugh. ‘Come and sit,’ I say, patting the cushion next to me. ‘I want to know how you worked it all out.’

  He stands up and stretches his legs, then lopes over and joins me on the sofa. My body shudders with pleasure as he puts his arm around my shoulders. I lay my head on his chest and sigh. ‘I’ve missed you so much.’

  ‘Me too,’ he murmurs, kissing the top of my head. ‘It’s been a long time, Terri.’

  ‘I always believed you’d come back to me,’ I say. ‘Even when you didn’t get in touch after we split up to ask how I was, I still kept the faith.’

  He grimaces. ‘I’m so sorry for how I treated you. I was an idiot.’

  ‘Shh, that’s in the past now. We’re together again, that’s all that matters.’

  ‘And with a ready-made addition to the family,’ he says, waving at Mabel, who is still gazing at him adoringly. ‘Gosh, she’s beautiful. And she looks so well. You’ve done a great job of looking after her.’

  ‘Hmm. She doesn’t make it easy sometimes … Come on, tell me the story. How did you know it was me who took her?’

  Seth contemplates for a few moments, his hand idly kneading my shoulder. ‘I remembered how much you wanted us to have a baby, and how upset and angry you were when you found out that I’d donated sperm to Amber.’

  I don’t deny it. The pain I felt that day has never completely gone away. It lurks deep inside my system, stabbing me at moments when I least expect it. Anything can trigger the memory: opening my laptop, searching the internet for something completely unconnected. I shouldn’t have been snooping on Seth’s computer, but I felt I had no choice. There was something going on, something he was hiding from me; I had to find out what it was. When he went out for a run, I took my chance. It didn’t take long to browse his search history – ‘DIY sperm donation’, ‘sperm donors on Facebook’, ‘techniques for home insemination’.

  My mind was spinning. Why on earth was he so interested in the subject? I knew he didn’t want children of his own – we’d had a few heavy discussions about it. He’d said he was worried about global overpopulation, but secretly I thought it was because he was still confused by his sexuality. By that stage, our sex life had become problematic. Sometimes it worked well; at other times it felt awkward. Seth confessed he’d had a few encounters with men in the past, but I assured him that didn’t necessarily mean he was gay; he’d just got lost while looking for the right woman. I was that woman – I had no doubt about it. Once we were married with a little family, all our problems would vanish. I firmly bel
ieved I could win him over.

  I stared at his computer screen, utterly baffled. Then I remembered that he had mentioned that Amber and George were having trouble conceiving. Usually I only half listened when Seth talked about his best friend. I couldn’t care less about where she was going on holiday, or what exciting new job she’d been head-hunted for. But hearing that her life wasn’t going according to plan had secretly delighted me.

  It was obvious. Amber had asked Seth to help her get pregnant. It was so typical of her to use him in that way, especially when she must have known that he’d refused to make a baby with me. That was the killer blow. I slammed the laptop lid shut and kicked back the chair. Anger raged through me like a forest fire, consuming everything in its path. I stormed around the flat, swearing and screaming my head off – throwing ornaments at the wall, pulling books off shelves, smashing cups and plates. I was burning up, out of control. But my fury wasn’t with Seth, it was with her. That she was part of Seth’s life was bad enough, but now she was destroying mine.

  She was the person I wanted to harm, but instead I ran into the bathroom and raided the cabinet for pills to take myself. I couldn’t stand the intense emotional pain, couldn’t breathe. I found a packet of paracetamol and was trying to force them down my throat when Seth came back from his run and found me. There was a terrible scene. We never recovered from it.

  Now he takes my hand, pulling me back to the present. His eyes are glistening. ‘I hurt you so much, Terri,’ he says. ‘It was unforgivable.’

  ‘It was Amber’s fault; she virtually forced you to give her a baby.’

  ‘That’s true, but I should have been stronger, should have said no. At the very least I should have discussed it with you first. I separated myself from the idea of actually being a father and saw it as a medical thing, like giving blood. Now I realise how stupid that was.’ He threads my hair between his fingers, sending ripples of lust through me. ‘When Mabel was born, I instantly felt a connection, like she was part of me.’ He glances over at her, happily bouncing away. ‘Isn’t that right, precious?’